The completely unfiltered diary of a 23-year-old (week 42)
It’s been a good day! Kay came over and it was really chill and just all around good. And we met some cute cats. And before that, I had a call with a colleague about some climate issues, which was really enlightening and just an overall really great talk! It’s too bad I hadn’t spoken to her before, and now she’s leaving. And a guy I knew from high school matched with me on the dating app lol. We’ll see how that goes. I guess I really am just staying on this app to scope out any potential cute (single) acquaintances I already know, since I can’t be hecked about chatting up strangers.
Anyway, had to write this down, because I was too happy to sleep. It’s been a while — I remember being too happy to sleep before, though I can’t remember why. I guess all it takes to make me happy truly is good social interaction and some fluffies.
Maybe it really is a good thing me and Lyza aren’t hanging anymore. Seems like a dick-ish thing to say, but it seems true. We’ll probably meet at some point anyway.
Alright, time to sleep.
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My legs were on fire today. Aching like mad — I think it’s from all the squatting I did yesterday while helping Lauren with her project (we had to build stuff on a low table). I actually slept literally about 2/3 of the day. It’s terrible — when I have no plans for the day, there’s no motivation to roll out of bed, really.
I did get up though at about 10.30am, watched a bunch of YouTube videos, had lunch, watched more videos, knocked out for maybe 4 hours, got up and ate some leftover pizza, watched more videos, had dinner, then decided to take a walk out to get snacks. The walk helped a little with relieving the ache. It’s quite insane just how tight my muscles are.
I’ll be going back to help Lauren in a few days. Poor girl. She got another friend to come help as well, which was nice because I got to meet her and we suffered and inhaled glue fumes together (we were gluing stuff together for the project). I think we reached the point of exhaustion beyond which you just give no fucks and start being really weird and laugh at everything. It was fun.
I’ve been looking at a retirement calculator a lot (probably not a good sign when you’ve been working for barely half a year). It says if I save $35,000 a year and my pay increases by 5% each year, I can retire on $40,000 a year by the time I reach 37 years old. Well. We’ll see.
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Went to the office today (it’s only what, maybe the third time?) and the feeling of existential dread has returned. Not in full force, but it’s beginning to appear. The level of shittiness felt is probably directly proportional to the extent of lack of sleep the night before.
It was still infinitely useful to get to talk to my colleague though. For real, a 30-minute talk with him gives me more insight than I get probably in a whole week. Which could be an improvement, because before, a 30-minute talk with him probably would’ve given me more than a whole month of work.
Lauren is so close to finishing her big masters project. All the squatting and standing from helping her has made the big toe on my right foot go numb (which is mildly concerning). I think it was all the standing on her extremely hard marble floor. It was my second toe that went numb the previous time. Guess it’s just switching things up.
Jessie passed her driving test today, after much freaking out.
I picked up the book my other colleague (soon to be ex-colleague) recommended the other day. The one who talked about climate and all. It’s amazing, you can reserve a book and get the library to send it from one location to another location nearer you for just a dollar fifty. It’s a hella thick book though — hope it’s gonna be good. I wish you could just somehow absorb all the information into your head at once, but unfortunately, I’m going to have to read this.
Maybe one day we’ll really be able to download information into our brains.
Also, it’s crazy — each week I look at the headlines of my previous entries (to get the links for the sign-off bit), and it occurs to me how much I really have zero recollection of what happened just a few days ago. I could’ve been ecstatic over something, and completely forget about it and be depressed two days later.
That’s probably not a good sign.
Not depressed now though, thankfully. Not the most inspired, but at least feeling alright.
xo,
Amber
