The completely unfiltered diary of a 23-year-old (week 31)

Amberblazexx
3 min readFeb 3, 2021

Had a really good hangout with Lyza. I think it was kind of a turning point, in terms of really feeling connected to her.

Maybe she isn’t just whiny. Maybe she just feels emotions really strongly and is very good at turning those feelings into thoughts.

Although, I do still think she can be whiny. LOL. But yeah, coupled with the above. Plus, she does work on things she whines about. Sometimes, at least. And maybe she just doesn’t talk about working on stuff because she doesn’t want to jinx it.

Gia once told me, when I asked her why she didn’t talk much, that she would say things if she thought I’d be interested in hearing it (amongst other conditions).

I told her today that hell, she shouldn’t worry about what I’d be interested in hearing, because if she wants to say it, then damn right I’m gonna want to hear it.

I worried that it might make her second guess herself more. But she did seem to talk more today. Ah. Well. Was a good thing, I think.

Damn, forgot to write and now it’s posting day.

It makes me kind of happy that I can no longer devour an entire tin of love letters in a day. Ok, maybe can’t is a strong word. Let’s go with “haven’t”. Or rather, “haven’t recently, at least”.

My stocks went up, which is pretty cool. About 3%, which is almost enough to cover that 3% PayPal hit which my previous post just reminded me of. I’d completely forgotten but just went back to check the previous post to see if I’d mentioned the stock. Oh well.

Kay got a house. Isn’t that insane.

And another friend stopped wearing her hijab. I’m really happy for her. And proud.

I haven’t been reaching out to friends as much (read: Lyza and Gia), which is probably a good thing, because they’ve been initiating texts more now. Which makes me feel better. Though, of course, that doesn’t mean I’m gonna just be distant.

There’s also a good mate that I text sometimes, and damn, I’m thankful for that friendship.

I’ve got another one-on-one chat scheduled with my boss tomorrow. No idea what to say, really. Probably ask about work, and then about what’s expected in order to reach the next level. Gosh, I really have no clue how things work in the workplace. Really grateful for this team though, and for the fact that my boss even schedules these chats.

Sometimes I think about how lucky I am to be in a place that’s safe. No wars. And I really hope there won’t be any in future. Gotta make the most of life as it is. War is a terrifying thought, especially when you think about how WWI and WWII really didn’t happen all that long ago.

Alright, how’s that for last minute, extremely disjointed journaling. I’m off to bed.

xo,

Amber

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