The completely unfiltered diary of a 24-year-old (week 67)

Amberblazexx
5 min readOct 13, 2021

It’s been a tiring but good day. Well, actually, I didn’t do anything in the morning except post a picture of the first two (and only) polymer clay things I’ve made so far.

Technically, it was a boomerang that I posted in Instagram. First thing I’ve posted in a long time (months). I think it was a mixture of boredom and wanting to document the tiny charms before giving them away. And a bunch of people replied/reacted to my post, which made me pretty damn happy. I love hearing from long lost friends. Well, some of them at least. Or just hearing from friends in general.

Oh yeah, I was also looking forward (kinda) to a could-be-happening-soon Tinder date, which was supposed to be this evening, but it fell through. He didn’t set the time and I told him nevermind, next time. I ain’t gonna show up if you don’t set aside time for me in advance, lol.

Didn’t feel like staying at home the whole day though, but one look outside and the sun was way to hot for me to want to go outside outside for a walk or something. So I went to climb. Alone again. It was fun though! And it’s also the reason why I’m exhausted right now. There was another solo climber there today and we chatted a little, which was really nice. He’d initiated, which I’m very thankful for. I probably gave off stand-offish vibes…because I was tired and no one can see your smiles through the mask.

Managed to do one of the routes that I couldn’t the week before. It was a fun route, a lot of weight shifting and not much strength.

I must’ve gotten dehydrated from climbing/from the bloody insane heat today because my pee was really dark.

I realize I tend to go to Instagram and post things when I’m really deprived of attention. But well, it’s a great way to revive or spark conversations with friends, since it’s an easy conversation starter. So yeah. I might try to post once in a while, just to keep up conversations with some friends that I like, but don’t really keep up with regularly/intentionally.

Oh, and back to the climbing bit. It’s definitely a different experience climbing alone vs with friends. When done alone, it’s like being in your own little world, really focusing on the workout and the climb itself. It’s nice, in a different way. That must be something like what it’s like to go to the gym. Almost a meditative experience. Again, the mask helps a lot. At least for me. Makes me feel just a little more anonymous and less self conscious. Makes it easier for me to go out and do things alone. Which is great, because that’s a necessary life skill. So this almost acts as a nice transition phase. :’)

I was so much in my own meditative bubble that when that other solo climber talked to me, it almost felt like an interruption. But, it’s definitely welcome. I’m so bloody socially deprived that it felt really nice to talk to some random new person who seemed nice. Hellz yeah.

Hung out with Shelly during the weekend! It was extremely homely. In fact, I should rewrite that first line.

Hung out with *Shelly’s family during the weekend! LOL. I’m still really awkward with her family, but the logical brain side of me is extremely touched by how they welcome me as an intruder into their family. I remember Shelly once told me, “Of course! You’re like family,” and I was so touched and a little shook. I’ve never said anything like that to anyone. Not even my family members LOL but okay, that’s not the same thing.

Brother’s birthday was this week too, and we had lots of cake. His girlfriend came over for lunch. And, he opened some wine, which Mom and Dad drank. I’ve forgotten how easily they get tipsy and how ridiculously happy they get when they drink. It’s great. We should get them to drink more often. :)

I went for a routine health screening for the first time in my adult life (it’s sponsored by the company, so I thought, why not?) It was interesting. In addition to all the blood/urine/stool tests, you get to pick between a treadmill test and a breast ultrasound (for ladies. Or, I guess with today’s sensitivity around wording, for people with breasts.) Conventional wisdom tells you to get your boobs checked for breast cancer, but the doctor told me in a somewhat conspiratory manner, “If you haven’t gotten your health insurance yet, don’t do the ultrasound. There’s a good chance we’ll find some harmless lumps, and then your insurance might refuse to cover breast cancer for you.”

I took her advice and went for the treadmill test. They had a bunch of sensors that they stick to your upper body, and I had all these wires coming out of me. I felt like a cyborg. It was kind of cool. And, the nurse who was helping me, a 40-plus-year-old, told me she sleeps at around 8.30 or 9 p.m. every day. Life goals.

Also, they did an eyesight test and I’m myopic as heck. Even with my glasses on, I did terribly. Damn. It’s probably time to get new glasses, and finally give in to the glasses life…until I can get Lasik surgery. This might be why I’m so tired all the time…because my eyes are tired.

Cher contacted me suddenly to ask if I wanted to go travel. Hell yes. We’ve been to some places together, for some budget-as-heck but hella fun and memorable adventures. Would be awesome to go somewhere.

I also tried to clean out my bookcases recently, because I realized there’s a paper recycling machine nearish my apartment, and I can recycle my old school books and utterly useless notes for a whopping 6 cents per kilogram. So, I built up a nice stack of old papers and books, and now I’ve got maybe 8kg of loose paper things on my floor, and absolutely no idea how to bring them over to the recycling machine.

So yeah. Great week all around.

xo,

Amber

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