The completely unfiltered diary of a 23-year-old (week 57)

I just spent 80 bucks on clothes, and I’m sweating. Not sure if it’s from the inescapable heat, or the anxiety from spending that much on frivolous stuff.

Oh well, whatever. It’s a treat for myself, and it’s not gonna matter in the long run so it doesn’t matter.

It’s another uneventful Sunday, and I’m trying to think of what to do. Learning to shuffle was fun, and a great workout too, and it can be done in a relatively small space.

What else is a fun skill to learn that’s also great for building strength/fitness? Hm.

Dance. Basic breakdance moves? A baby freeze?

A handstand??

A yoga crow pose.

Maybe a handstand.

*one hour later*

I decided to clear some space for handstanding, and ended up noticing my sports bras hanging on my closet handle, and spent an hour stitching the bra pads to the bra.

It was a good use of time, I believe. Those damned bra pads keep bunching up within the bra after going through the washing machine. This should save me from spending a good two minutes trying to adjust those pads each time I want to wear those bras.

So, technically speaking, I would’ve made up for that hour after wearing my sports bras thirty times.

Nah, I’m just kidding. It was good to finally get that done. Plus, it really brings down the mental block to running (cos sometimes before exercising, I think about having to change, and get those damned pads in place, and the inertia just grows.)

Anyway. On to hand standing attempts!

*one hour later*

I ended up helping Mom fix her cupboard door, which had spontaneously decided to to fall out of its frame.

I did clear an area of my floor to give access to my wall (for handstand support). Placed my hands on the floor and kicked my legs up (barely off the ground), and I can already feel the blood rushing to my head. Seems fun though, so that’s a great start. If I don’t bust any blood vessels in my eyes from the pressure of the blood rushing to my head, that’s be great.

.

Turns out you should get your blood flow going before trying a handstand, so you don’t blow out your blood vessels. That makes a lot of sense. Also, probably need to work up to it, give the blood vessels time to adapt.

I came across an old video I’d taken in January last year. Damn, it feels like a lifetime ago. Back then, I was overseas (in the states) and already quite solidly in a quarter-life crisis. It was one of the videos I’d taken on the last few days of that trip, before returning home.

I guess not much has changed in a way — I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life. But I’ve gotten used to it. Maybe not quite gotten to terms with it, but gotten used to it, and ok with it enough to tide me over till maybe I find something that I want to do with my life.

It’s crazy how things completely turned upside down with COVID just a few months after that.

In other news, I received the clothes I ordered. Some of them are definitely getting returned. But I might keep some. We’ll see. :) It’s good though, because I ordered and got to try on some thing I’d never have chosen at the store. Not that I even shop much anyway.

So yay for trying on new types of clothes.

Also, I’ve been trying to learn a backspin, but it kills my spine every time I try. Probably not a good sign. Might have to build up some core muscles first.

I guess my life direction as of now is to do decently at work (and get more money if possible), and learn new fun skills — and if they can help with fitness, all the better. Very stereotypical COVID thing to do.

Though again, it’s worth acknowledging that being able to do this is a huge privilege. Reminder to self!

And one last thing. I finally bought that new underwear I’ve been thinking about. Now that’s definitely money well spent.

xo,

Amber

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Amberblazexx

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