Sep 2, 2020
The completely unfiltered diary of a 23-year-old girl (week 9)
I suddenly remembered a presentation I made last year, where I’d run the presentation by my mentor and he’d said, “Good job. Clearly, someone has taught you how to make presentations.”
My first thought was, phew really? Was it really ok? I thought it might’ve been too fluffy for a scientific presentation, but it seemed like he really meant it when he said the storytelling was good.
And then I realized while he’d complimented me in a way, it wasn’t really so much of giving me the credit. It was more of saying oh, nice, you’ve had this opportunity to be taught by someone, in order to gain this skill. i.e. you only got here because someone helped you. Which is so true. Keeps you humble.
Most of what we know, what we’ve done, what we’ve achieved, really isn’t because of us. It’s a combination of luck, help from others, and us facilitating the process. Even if you’re self-taught, if you referred to youtube tutorials or books, or other sources, you’ve gotten those skills because those people went through the effort to produce that material. Ok, not that we get zero credit, just that we shouldn’t take 100% of the credit. For most things, at least.
“You did a good job. Clearly, SOMEONE did a good job of teaching you…” rather than “You did a good job. YOU are amazing.”
That’s gonna stick with me for a while for sure. Good reminder to be humble. And appreciative.
Not that he was being mean or anything. When I finally did give the actual presentation, he said I did well. And damn, that felt good. Because this guy definitely was not one to give out liberal praise. Lol. Tbh I’m quite proud of “winning him over” — to some extent, at least.
—
Whoa ok, it’s Sunday and suddenly a whole bunch of Fiverr gigs came in. I’m a little bit stressed since the work week starts tomorrow, and there’s my “job” to tend to.
But, I also intend to submit my notice tomorrow, so…maybe my boss will just stop giving me work (or try to come up with some short side project for me). Or not. Who knows. LOL.
Feels a little stressful to be tendering a “resignation” for the first time. But, I guess this happens all the time in the working world, so I’m probably overthinking it. Plus, this isn’t even a real job. It’s technically supposed to be 6 months, but I’ll be leaving after 3 months. But honestly, they probably won’t mind at all. So it’s all good.
I really am thankful to them for this opportunity though. Though if I harp on that too much in my email to my boss it’ll probably be too sappy/sound like I’m licking boots. Oh well.
—
Bought a new pair of shorts. High-waisted black denim shorts cos I’m a basic h0e.
Unfortunately size 8 fits my waist but has my ass almost hanging out. Though now that I look at the picture, it looks like the shorts are intentionally designed that way.
Size 10 covers my ass but almost falls off my hips (ok exaggerating a little, but not by much). Plus it’s baggier, so if you’re not careful, you might end up flashing someone through those “flared” pant legs. In fact, when a pair of shorts is too baggy, it almost becomes a skirt, basically. According to my logic at least. And my conservative-ass rule of thumb is that if a skirt is flared, it probably should be longer than your average pair of shorts, or you’re definitely gonna flash someone.
Maybe I just gotta learn to sit and move around more gracefully. I honestly have no clue how girls walk around in tiny skirts without flashing anything.
Anyway, I decided to get these instead.
But my brainwashed, media-susceptible girl brain told me those shorts were too long. So I ended up getting a size 10 so I can take in the waist and roll up the bottoms so they’re shorter, but still cover my ass.
In face, just about every pair of shorts I actually wear are all altered, because if they fit, they’re too short; and if they are long enough, they definitely won’t fit. And there’s no point having shorts that can cover your ass if they just slide down past your ass anyway.
Also. Fuck these fast fashion manufacturers that don’t produce semi-decent shorts that can actually cover your ass. Those short shorts are like 10 bucks, and the longer bermuda types are like 35 bucks. Do I really have to pay an extra $25 for a tiny scrap of fabric to cover my goddamned ass??
Ok. That’s all. Gotta get back to Fiverr work LOL. But kinda excited to bunker down and do some shorts alterations another day :’)
—
Tendered my notice! It was fine.
And initiated a clearly poorly planned 8-minute call with my boss. It was so insanely awkward LOL. But it’s done. You live and you learn and you move on. And you plan better about what to say to your next boss :’)
For memory’s sake, here’s a rough transcript:
Skype call
Me: Hi
Boss: Hi
Me: So…you saw the email
Boss: Yep
Me: Cool
Silence
Me: So…I’ll just finish up whatever I’ve started, I guess.
Boss: Hm, yup.
LOL. Ok, it wasn’t that bad, he assured me it was fine and that he understood that I’d want a more permanent role somewhere. He asked when I’d applied for that job. I lied and said way back earlier in the year, and they’d only just gotten back after a hiring freeze. And then I thanked him. And then stopped thanking him and said ok, I’m gonna stop here or it’s gonna be too sappy. And he was like yup.
HeLP.
—
It’s Wednesday! Middle of the week, whaaattt?!
Goodness, my eyeballs are positively dying from staring at the screen for so long. There’s work, and then there’s all this editing to do on Fiverr. Not complaining though. For the first time since I started this side hustle way back in May — ok that’s really just four months ago but well — I got $1k worth of orders in a week!
But man, staring at all those words is pretty draining. My eyesight is definitely at stake here, and urgh I really don’t wanna have it get worse. It’s already pretty bad as it is.
Oh well, gotta get back to it. Ain’t got no time to sit here on Medium (and I still have to read through this post to proofread………..fun.)
:’)
Oh I did discover the BBC Earth podcast though, which is fantastic because it’s super interesting and relaxing, and, it’s a podcast. So you can listen without having to use your eyes. 10/10 would recommend.
xo,
Amber
