The completely unfiltered diary of a 23-year-old girl (week 13)

Amberblazexx
6 min readSep 30, 2020

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Soon-to-be-new-boss just contacted me and holy shit. Shit just got real. Gonna be in a real job for the first time in less than two weeks. Holy moley.

I’m shitting my pants.

Ok, not really, it’s a good 50/50 mix of nerves and excitement. And also at the back of my head, a “chill. It’s probably gonna end up unremarkable.” Lol.

I did literally nothing at my current job yesterday, and it seems I might be doing literally nothing again today. Maybe I’ll just accept it and be grateful to my team LOL.

It’s gonna be tough not being able to sleep in till like 10a.m. on the next real job. Major first world problem whining here. But yeah. Things are getting real.

Would be nice to have a real salary too. Man! This is exciting. Ok but give it a month and I’d probably be over it LOL.

So my new boss is a Chinese guy, originally from China but I think he spends quite a lot of time in Australia. So I’m slightly worried that he might have mad work ethic, because Chinese people are notorious for that. But hopefully he’ll actually be okay! One of the main reasons why I chose this job (well ok, not that I had many options lmao), was because the pay is pretty good, and the working hours are great. Meaning, people don’t work overtime. Which is way too normal at regular Asian companies.

I hope that is still the way it is. Who knows, maybe it’s even better now that it’s work from home.

So I’m supposed to get my new work laptop by next Wednesday. It’s currently Friday. I was a bit shooketh that the boss would reach out so many days in advance (ok, it’s really only three days), but most probably he got an email notification from the company or something, and it’s not a reflection of him wanting me to work super hard from day one.

We shall see how this goes!

And, hopefully, the work will actually be vaguely interesting/meaningful. I do hope it’s clean energy related, but we shall see. No point guessing and thinking up all kinds of scenarios right now.

!!!

Gotta get my financial shit together too. Just opened a new “high interest” savings account for salary crediting. Hello adult life…but yes. Gotta sort out finances! So that who knows, maybe in three years (or less) I’d be sick of working and will hopefully have enough money to quit and do something else.

Or maybe this job will actually be good!

Alright. Leaving things open. Will update.

Oh yeah, I’m also consciously trying to cut down on the number of exclamation marks and smileys I use at work lol. Trying to sound less like an overly excited puppy. Which is hard, because I’m still such a kid and I love! tyPinG!! Lyk. Dis!

But gotta look cool and professional, y’know.

Just gotta think — would Obama type like this? No way? Then don’t do it. :’)

So I’ve decided to make a list separately (privately, lol) so I can keep track of all the nicknames I’ve given my friends in this journal. Not that I have such an overwhelming number of friends in my life — more of that I have an overwhelmingly shitty memory and will definitely mix them up otherwise. In fact, I’ve already managed to mix up some of them, so I’m gonna go back and make sure the names used are correct.

Here are some people, and some identifying characteristics:

Gia — can be extremely quiet and introverted. But she cool. It’s just annoying because she doesn’t express her views unless prodded. But if expressed, she’d probably have some interesting shit to say.

Lyza — kind of a newer friend, mostly got closer because of climbing. Is probably having a life crisis (as we all are, but hers seems a little worse). Can be whiny as fuck sometimes, but then again I’m terrible with understanding people, so I probably annoy her as well. She’s super thoughtful and extremely open and genuine though, which I really like about her.

Kay — bloody gem of a friend. She’s. so. nice. Maybe too nice. And very zen/satisfied with her life. Maybe it’s a Buddhist thing, lol. I’ve known her for over a decade now. Haven’t been quite as close recently, because l i f e, but she’s always there for me.

Lauren — Academic. Achiever. Hardworking. I fear her life is going to be just about work, and it’s definitely taking a toll on her. She’s always got my back though.

Jessie — weird af but I love it. She’s a really good person inside. Super thoughtful. Definitely weird. The best combination.

Shelly — university friend. I wouldn’t say we click 100%, and she’s another one of those people who whine like mad and do nothing about it. And sometimes I don’t want to tell her stuff because she might tell others about it. Maybe by accident, but still. She’s also a good person though. And usually pretty fun to hang out with.

Cher — cool girl. We have a really low maintenance friendship, but again, she’s got my back. I know I can tell her almost anything, even if we only talk like once a month or even less.

Common things amongst most of my friends? They’re good people, and I trust them 100%. Also, they’re all girls ._.

Anyway. It was interesting coming up with nicknames for them.

So I hung out with Gia today. At first I realized that, as usual, I was dominating the conversation. So I decided, y’know what, I’m just not gonna say anything unless specifically asked or spoken to. Or at least, try to. I think it worked. We’ll see how future hangouts go.

Climbed with Kay and Lyza too and that was pretty awesome. Kay was crushing it, and Lyza was doing pretty well too, just that she just gives up too easily. I bet she’d improve a lot faster if she stopped second guessing herself. Oh well. Just gotta play supportive friend I guess.

More nicknames:

Sam — chill guy with pretty good spidey senses when it comes to judging social situations. Which is great, because I’m terrible at it but he’s good at telling me things bluntly (i.e. a bit of a social situation interpreter for me.) He’s also married. Speeding through life milestones. Our friendship consists mainly of sending each other animal stickers.

It’s my last week of work and I’ve done literally nothing. Like, actually nothing. Not even a single email. My team has stopped cc-ing me in emails as well. I really wonder what they think of me — whether they’re pissed/feeling betrayed, or just completely indifferent and are just trying to spare me. Honestly, it’s probably the latter and I’m just thinking too much.

A bunch of Fiverr gigs came in again. Not as much as the sudden surge I got last month, but good enough. $535 within the past 2–3 days. Though Fiverr takes a 20% cut, which leaves $428. Not sure if this will be sustainable when my new job starts though. Might have to limit the number of orders at any one time.

Met someone from the team today. He initiated it, and at first I thought it’d be an exit interview, but maybe he was just trying to be nice. I really don’t know. LOL. I’m terrible at reading nuances oh god. I know it’s definitely not date-y, because he’s attached, so there’s that at least. Maybe he was trying to network, because it seems possible he might actually want to shift out of the government sector. Maybe.

Another guy from the team also messaged to ask how the final week was going, and again I was like ughhh I’m over here slacking my ass off while they’re working their asses off. But he’s so nice, I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean it in any bad way.

Two more days till the end of the week, and the end of this job. Damn. Three months have flown by.

And then…new job.

Fingers crossed!

Also I tried to apply for a credit card today, because they were having a promo ($200 cash gift for getting a card). Unfortunately it turns out you need to show proof of income to get the card, and since I haven’t started this new proper job yet, I don’t have that proof.

Sad. LOL.

Also, I’m terrified that the new job might need video calling, with video on. My room does not look professional. Time to get a new paint job…?

xo,

Amber

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Amberblazexx
Amberblazexx

Written by Amberblazexx

probably needs a better avatar

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