The completely unfiltered diary of a 23-year-old girl (week 11-12)
So a friend pointed out to me that I could get a second hand guitar for under 50 bucks. Seems like a potentially good idea.
There’s a bunch of stuff that you can’t really play on ukulele (though well, at my current level, I can still barely play the ukulele so maybe it’s best not to be so ambitious. Lol.) But yeah, possible path for future expansion ;)
Maybe for now I wanna learn how to change guitar tabs into ukulele tabs (if it’s possible?) My music knowledge is so non-existent. I only know like, A B C D E F G lol.
Anyway, though it’d be interesting to have a list of songs (in order) that I’ve learnt/am learning cos non of them are really perfect yet LOL. I just get bored and then move on to the next, then go back, and then keep flip flopping between random songs.
- Drop the game — Nick Murphy
- No diggity — Nick Murphy
- Youth — Daughter
- Some OMAM songs (Sloom, Dirty paws)
- Pumped up kicks — Foster the People
- Some Arctic Monkeys songs (505, Fluorescent Adolescent (but damn it’s hard))
Found this really sick YouTube channel called Ukulele Cheats, and the guy (Vasco) really makes the ukulele sound good. Some other songs include Eleanor Rigby, Seven Nation Army, Kids by MGMT…
Just found out you can play Mess by Noah Kahan with C G Am F chords today too :’) Freaking awesome. That was hella fun.
Met Lauren yesterday. And then Shelly, with her boyfriend. Was good. Also apparently Shelly’s boyfriend’s friends said they thought I was “not bad” ;)
LOL. Great boost to my ego. I was surprised though, since I’ve barely met the guy, and I’m not even close to Shelly’s boyfriend. But I don’t really want to go on a “date” with people anymore. Because it feels like if they’re cool, but not exactly cute, it’s hard to stay friends because the starting was all wrong and the expectations were all wrong. So ideally, you could get to know them as friends first, y’know.
Maybe I’m being too demanding. Lol.
Met Gia too, which was ok. Feel like I gotta step back in that friendship a little though, because I feel like I’m always the one initiating. And even in our conversations I’m always the one trying to drive it. But at the same time, maybe she’s just…extremely introverted or finds it difficult to initiate things. I don’t know. And I think about it quite a lot. Which is pretty lame, right. Yeah, I think I just gotta step back, or I might seem clingy/overwhelming. But at the same time, she’s like…I don’t know. I feel like sometimes she’s glad that I reached out, and if I didn’t reach out, it’d be really difficult for her to reach out first, even if she wasn’t feeling good and needed to talk to someone. But what the fuck. I’m not a bloody therapist. So…I guess…time to step back and see what kind of rhythm we fall into. Maybe we’ll just end up being the meet every few months and text once every few weeks type of friends. ._.
Yeah. Because it takes bloody effort for me to reach out too. So unless it’s something that she actually wants, there’s really no point in me putting in that effort. I guess I just care because I’m pretty sure she’s depressed and needs people to reach out to her because it’s hard to reach out to people when you feel like shit. But maybe she doesn’t actually need me reaching out and I’m just feeling overly self-important.
Gosh it’s lame to be writing all this. I should just tell her next time I meet her. Lol. I hate thinking about stuff and making guesses when you could just ask for a straight answer.
Just remembered, since it came up in my conversation with Shelly. I really want to go on a big backpacking trip some time. When I’ve worked for a bit and need a change, maybe. Or maybe not even backpacking. I guess when you’ve worked and have a little money, you can afford to travel with a bit more. Pazzaz. LOL. Aka not sleep in a room with 12 other people, though it could still be fun once in a while (I haven’t done it yet). Always down to try new stuff, at least once. Yeah. I don’t know what it’ll be, I just know I wanna do something “different”.
Well taking a gap year for backpacking isn’t exactly unheard of LOL but yes. Something like that would be awesome. Meet new people, try new shit. Grow as a person. Blahblah. I kid but I’m also serious. :)
All in the pursuit of confidence. Or maybe not confidence, but just. Being completely comfortable in your own skin.
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So remember that pair of shorts I was bitching about last week because one size down fit but was too short and left my ass hanging out, but one size up was way too big at the waist?
Got called out by two different people about whining about first world problems and immediately thought of this:
It’s friggin gold.
Also betraying my age here since that video is from 2014.
(I say betraying my age as if it isn’t prominently featured right up in the post title)
LOL.
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Crap. I totally missed Wednesday, so I’m just gonna lump week 11 and 12 together here.
It’s the weekend and I just had a pretty damn good day. Started off with meeting a friend, LJL, and although she pisses me off a lot of the time (I still love her though. She’s awesome), today was really good and chill. and she seemed to be in a really good place, so that totally rubbed off on me. I’m really happy for her.
And then in the afternoon I brought the parents out for a walk in a park, and we were lucky enough to see all sorts of cool nature-y things. Simple stuff, but man. It’s been a good day.
I’ve been trying to post more Instagram stories as well. Because it gives people an avenue to talk to you — especially old friends who might otherwise fall out of touch. But definitely don’t wanna end up spending too much time on Instagram. As it is, I already get way too caught up with checking who watched my stories, lol.
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So the school gives out softcopies of your educational transcript, and you have to download it by a certain date. It takes all of about two minutes to download it, and I just did it today (because the new job wanted it).
Then I talked to Lyza and she mentioned she hadn’t downloaded it. I told her to just do it, you literally just need to click a link and sign in. She said she’s kept it pinned at the top of her mailbox for weeks, and she thinks about it every time she opens her mailbox. I told her, it’s super simple, takes less than two minutes, just do it. But she didn’t want to. And my immediate reaction was just like what the fuck. I don’t understand. At all.
Reminds me of when some friends don’t want to check their grades, because they think they’re gonna do badly. Things like that.
Suddenly thought of people who don’t try, so when they fail they can comfort themselves by saying hey, if I’d tried harder, I could’ve done it.
Ugh. I have so little patience for this kind of shit.
But it’s really quite common?? Like, take responsibility and face your reality man. There’s literally zero point in ignoring it and hoping it goes away. And sure, I sometimes understand, kinda like when people don’t wanna go to the doctor because they’re scared of being diagnosed with something bad. But…it’s worse if you find out later and you’re fucked.
Trying to fight this knee-jerk reaction of just completely not understanding. Trying to be a more understanding/empathetic person. But damn. It’s hard?!
Ok, but in this case, maybe Lyzajust wasn’t in the mood. I’m sure she’ll get around to it eventually. I’ve planted the seed in her mind, so just gotta leave it and fight the urge to nag. (Gotta introduce the idea, then make them feel like they chose to do it themselves, y’know. LOL.)
Anyway.
Got a language exchange buddy from Conversation Exchange! Pretty exciting. I just hope it’s a real person (she’s a fresh graduate from Mexico. Hope she’s not actually some random creepy guy lol.)
So far so good though. And after this first one, a whole bunch of people started replying/sending messages, so it’s really pretty cool! Not sure how long this conversation/language buddy relationship is gonna last, but it’s nice to know that there are many other people who are active on the platform.
The platform itself is extremely barebones and looks like it came straight out of the 2000’s. But it works well and 10/10 serves its purpose. They even have this thing where you have a “profile photo”, but you can’t upload your own photo. You’ve got to choose from their existing selection of like fifty random photos (think landscapes, emojis, animals etc.) Which is freaking ingenious! It’s such a smart way to reduce the chance of people treating it like a dating website.
Alrightt. Hopefully next Wednesday I’ll remember to post! It’d be my last week of work in this govt job — whoa.
xo,
Amber
